I Love America

Posts Tagged ‘bob’

hindi quotes

Bengali and other Indian vernacular languages- some facts

Bengali Language- some facts

By Dr.K.K.Debnath (drkkdebnath@gmail.com)

Abstract:

An Analytical study has been made in this article about various Indian languages like Bengali, Hindi, Samaskrita and Urdu.

The study has been carried out based on various hidden information and clues available in Vedic and non Vedic literatures as well the using natural reasoning and logical reasoning from history.

The analysis very clearly shows that the Prakrita languages are original and the languages like Samaskrita, Urdu, Hindi, Bengali, etc are derived one standardized and composed from these localized Prakrita Languages.

The credit for first standard or refined Indian language goes to Samaskrita, nextgoes to Urdu followed by other languages. However, Samaskrita cannot be credited as mother language of All Indian Languages as publicized among Indians.

1. Popular beliefs and contradiction:

Popularly it is said that Indian (North) Languages were derived from the language Samaskrita, and Samaskrita was the language of Aryans or oldest language of India (Bharat) and it is believed that Samaskrita is the mother of all Indian Vernacular language except four South Indian languages like Telugu, Kannada Tamil and Malayalam.

Historians have proved now that people of Vedic civilization were not familiar with script. As a result of this, it was not possible to record their civilization in a documented form. Therefore, their victories, adventures, religion and culture were passed on from generation to generation through listening. This was the reason that intellectuals termed Veda as Sruti, I.e. remembrance through listening and chanting. The Smrities are the literatures, which they were able to recollect from their memory. Thus it is very clear that people of the Vedic period and their settlement at North-Western part of India; they were not familiar with Deva-Nagari script.

Beside the above, the styles of writings of Aryans living in central Asia and other Aryan places of Asia are from right to left, whereas the same for the Indian languages are from left to right. Had Samas Krita language is of Aryan origin, it should have style of writing from right to left and words would have been heavily dominated by the words of Aryans of those places which is not the case of any Indian languages.

This is  a contradiction. Besides this there are lot of issues available which contradicts that Samaskrita is the mother of all Indian  languages and it was developed by Aryans. All these issues have been discussed in this article.

 

2. Historical information:

2.1 Vernacular language during Pre-Vedic period:

Modern historians opine that politically, socially, religiously and culturally, the civilization at India was in existence long before Aryan invasions (i.e. prior to 1500 BC) or Vedic period.

Sahityacharya Prof. Dinesh Chandra Sen mentioned in his Book "Banga Bhasha and Sahitya" that Bengali script was in existence prior to Vedic period when Dev-Nagari script was not in existence, as per 'Lalita Vishtara', a book written by Buddhist scholars around 1st century BC.

Also, according to "Lalita Vishtara", Lord Buddha learnt Anga, Banga, Brahmi and Magadhi Languages from his teacher Vishwamitra.

2.2 Period of Development of Dev nagari Script:

It is also observed by researchers and historians, that during the period of Mahabharata at around 1000 BC, the story of Pandava Ghatha (Later it was expanded and named as Mahabharata) was not recorded when it was narrated to the descendents of Pandava by the descendents of Vyasa (Suka Dev) as the script was not developed at 1000 BC.

It has been opined by Historians that Deva-Nagari script was developed during later or post Vedic period at around 800 BC to 700 BC.

2.3 Period of Development of Urdu language:

Urdu language is popularly known as the language of Muslim people. Even in remote South Indian villages. Native Muslim people are found to use Urdu language in their home, when they speak among themselves. Urdu becomes a national language of Islamic State of Pakistan.

The history is very well known as this process of development of Urdu Language is not that old and full historical details are available to us.

According to Prof. Sherwani "the word Urdu is a kin to the word Ordu in Turkish meaning the Army".

According to Syed Ahmed Khan, Urdu was born in the market places of Shahjahanabad (Delhi) after 1648 AD. Prof. Sherwani also mentioned that Urdu had its embryonic form in the shape of Dakhinis under the rules of Bahamanis. This was between 1347 and 1518 AD much earlier to 1648 AD.

It can be observed that almost 80% words of Urdu are Hindustani and balance 20% are borrowed from Iranian/Arabian Language. The style of speaking is more or less in Hindustani style. The script and style of writing (from right to left) was borrowed from Arabian script and Arabian style of writing. This language became popular among Muslims (native as well as invaders) of India and patronized by Aryan Muslim rulers. Hence it was branded as a Muslim language.

2.4 Back Ground for Standard Languages:

According to some historians, the Indian languages began to develope from the time of Lord Buddha and taken some shape during the period of Mouryas.

We should not forget the fact that during those periods there was no country by name as Uttar Pradesh, Bihar or Assam. These names were introduced at a much later stage. The states were named as Mathura (Surasena), Panchala, Kosala, Sravasti, Malla, Vaishali, Mithila, Dwar-Vanga, Vijji, Magadha, Pundra Vardhana, Karna-Subarna, Samatata, Kamroop etc, during the ancient period.

On the other hand, the southeastern part of present Bengal was termed as Vang-Lang by East Asians countries. (Bangalar Itihas by Dr. R.D. Banerjee) Thus, in Ancient India the area from Dwar-Vanga on the northwestern side and Magadha and Balasore on the west and Arakan, Meghalaya on east might have similar cultures and language and in integrated way termed as Bengal. On a similar terminology, the people of central Asia/Iranians/Aryans of central Asia, used to call the place beyond south of Hindukush mountain as Hindustan and the main river was named by them as river Hindus or Indus. They were not familiar with the people of Ganges valley beyond Hindukush Mountain and Hindu valley, however in broad sense the people beyond south of Hindukush range were used to be called as Hindus and thus the name Hindustan came.

Even though the country was named as Hindustan by outsiders/Aryans, the country was divided into various small Kingdoms. During the Mahabharata period itself we could see Kingdoms like Gandhar, Madra, Bairat, Sindhu, Kasipa, Hastinapura, Indraprastha, Mathura, Panchala, Kasi, Koshal etc, and these Kingdoms were more or less independent.

Since the country Hindustan/Bharat/India by name was not in existence in particular during ancient time, the languages used by the people were also not termed as Hindi language in general and hence sometimes confusion arises. Therefore we could see the difference among Braj Bhasha of Goswami Tulsi das and the Rajasthani Bhasha of Mirabai or Hindi Bhasha of Sant Kabir.

This was due to the fact that the areas of states were not standardized; this was a common feature during those periods.

The languages and literatures were also not standardized, be it Hindi or Bengali or Marathi or Gujarati. These non-standard languages were termed as Prakrita or Apavramsha and were localized. The names of these Prakrita languages were also named after the place from where it was originated. The name Prakrita means natural; an original, hence this Prakrita languages were nothing but the pure natural languages which people used to speak among them for communication. The Standardization of Hindi and other languages actually started from the time of Invaders of Islamic faith, which got matured during English rule in India. Thus, what has been termed as Pali or Apavramsha were in fact the local non-standard language, these are known as Magadhi Prakrita, Gaudiya Prakrita, and Suraseni Prakrita etc. depending on the place of origin of development. This explanation has been felt necessary, as it is necessary to analyze the development of Samaskrita language and Deva-Nagari script and essential to know the relation between Indian language and Samaskrita language.

From the ancient period it could be noticed that, there was continuous invasions carried out by people living at various places outside of Hindustan and were not from the same place. Aryans, from Iran, Russia, Turkemenia and neighboring places etc and Christian Aryans like English, French, Portuguese, and Spanish etc from European countries invaded India. Hence, there was a need for a common Language, particularly for communication.

This necessity probably became the cause for the invention of a standard language due to integration of people having different languages.

 

 

3. Hidden Clues from Indian literatures:

It has been opined by Historians and Researchers that there are many hidden clues available in the Indian literatures; which indicates that the native Indians were the inventors and developers of Samaskrita language and Deva-Nagari script. Some of these hidden clues are described below for ready reference:

1. The Title of "Adikavi" of Samaskrita was awarded to Valmiki. Valmiki belonged to hunter (Nishad/Baheliya) community. Later on Vedic literature tried to present him by connecting him as the son of some Aryan Rishi Kanva. The sage Kanva was credited as one of the major composer of the Rig-Vedic verses. During the period of Kanva Vedic, the people/Aryans were not aware of River Ganges and further Eastern areas. Therefore the period of Kanva and the period of Valmiki could not be the same and to assume Valmiki as the son of Kanva is not correct.
2. The credit for compilation of Vedas, Mahabharata and Puranas was   accorded to Vyasa. He was the son of an unwed mother Sathyavati. Sathyavati was a daughter of a fisherman. This fisher woman became the Queen of Hastinapura at a later stage.

The Vedic literatures again tried to connect Vyasa as the son of Rishi Parasara. Rishi Parasara was the son of Suktri and grand son of Brahmarshi Vasishtha. The time Lexicon does not co-relate the time of sage Parasara to the period of Sathyavati.

Vyasa was a very dark complexioned person and was born at Lake Dvaipâyana, as a result of this he was named as "Krishna-Dvaipâyana".

Further, if Vyasa was the son of sage Parasara and Sathyavati, then Vyasa's complexion could not be very dark and feature should not be of demonical type as per hybrid reproduction theory (Because Satyavati, due to her beauty she became the queen of Hastinapura and Parasara, being  a Sage of rare and high quality from noble Aryan race must be fare and handsome person). Also, he was not credited as the writer of Vedas or Puranas or Mahabharata. He was named as the composer or compiler only. This indicates that the script was not developed at that time. This is further crystallized from the story that his descendant/ disciples narrated the story of Pandava Vijaya Ghatha to the descendent of Pandava.

1. The credit for recording of Mahabharata was given to Lord Ganesha, the son of Lord Siva and Parvati, who belonged to Non-Vedic community. Lord Ganesha was a famous intellectual and a Siddha Yogi. As a result he was honored as Siddhi-data Ganesha, but not as a Rishi Ganesha as per Vedic tradition. Siddha was a Title for non-Vedic spiritualistic persons of very high caliber.

Thus the invention and development of Samaskrita both were credited to native people of India.

The above hidden clues are indications of Non-Aryan origin of Samaskrita Language as well as of Deva-Nagari Script.

 

4. Reasons for Aryan (Outsiders) Brand name for Samaskrita:

Naturally, the question appears in mind of every body that, being such a case, why this language was branded as Aryan Language and script as Deva-Nagari script?

The probable reason could be that the Aryan Kings who might be ruling at the North-Western/Northern part of India; had patronized for the development of this language. Since they were patrons for this development it was patented or branded in the name of that community.

Similar cases could be seen, even in modern times. The highest mountain of the world was discovered by Rakhal Das Bandyopadhyay, but it was named after the Director General of GSL who had patronized this work. His name was Everest and hence the mountain was named as Mount Everest.

5. Reasons for Islamic Brand name for Urdu:

Another classic case is the development of Urdu language. The Aryan rulers from central Asian countries (Uzbekistan, Turkemenia, Iran, Ariana etc) of later period were all Muslims by religion. They had patronized the development of this language and it was a national language during their period.

As a result Urdu language became popular among Muslims (native as well as invaders) of India Hence it was branded as a Muslim language.

 

6. Analysis:

6.1. Extrapolation in backward way:If we extrapolate in a backward direction towards Vedic period, and Juxtapose Urdu and Samaskrita development we could observe a close similarity of development between Urdu and Samaskrita Language with respect to development of language.

The only difference is that when Aryans of Islamic faith invaded India, a language and script was already available with them, whereas, when the pre-historical Aryans invaded India and became the ruler of north western part of India, they were not having any script or any knowledge of writing.

This was the main reason that the style of writing of Samaskrita is made from left to right which is of pure Indian thought and origin. When the Aryan Muslims came to India, they came with Knowledge of writing with a style from right to left and hence adopted both the script and style of their home land.

It is observed that during 6th century BC, the part of North West India was under the rule of Iranian Kings and during the 4th century BC it was ruled by Mouryas of East India. The Mouryas were using a script, called "Khorosthi" at North Western part of India and a script called "Brahmi" at the Eastern parts of India. The style of writing of "Khorosthi" was from right to left, while for "Brahmi",  it was from left to right. Hence if Samaskrita scripts language is of Aryan origin, it should have been from right to left not from left to right.

6.2. Domination of native words:

The words of Samaskrita are found to be heavily dominated by pre-Aryan/ pre-Vedic words and later on new words in modified and refined form were also added to suite the style or pattern of Samaskrita Language. This may be observed from the various verses of Rig-Veda also. Some of them are quoted below for ready reference.

1. Indra killed Vritrasura; Vritra was the king of the area which was South West of Satudri and Vipasa River.
2. Indra killed Sushna and destroyed his cities and looted his wealth.
3. Indra killed Pipru, Kuyub, Pravik, Vyamsa, Kushwa, and Arbud.
4. Indra destroyed 100 cities of Sambar and handed over to Divodas.
5. He killed Garchi, Kheshpal, Anurnabha, Ahisucha, Ataka and Brihadratha.
6. He killed Navavastra, Bramha Kurush, Sruta, Briddha, Arna
7. He killed Twasta and his son Vishwarupa.
8. He killed Devaka, Sambar and Pudhyamedhi.
9. He destroyed cities like Mahabalistan, Naitandhav. Byarn, Namamuni.

All these people, killed by Aryan leader Indra were Non-Aryans. This means that these names were in existence before the Aryan rulings in India. Hence the names which are now found in Samaskrita are actually pre-Aryan pre-Vedic and Pre-Samaskrita names. However, these names are now branded as popular Samaskrita names.

Also, it was stated in Rig-Veda that Indra fought a battle with a Non-Aryan army of 10,000 men on the bank of river Amsumati (presently known as river Yamuna). The leader of this army of 10,000 was a non-Aryan by name Krishna.

In this battle, most probably Indra was defeated and fled, like Mohammed Ghori or Mihir Gula of later period. If Indra was the winner, Krishna would have been killed by Indra and Indra would have been further glorified as a destroyer and killer of Krishna and his ten thousand army men in Rig-Veda as per the style of Rig-Veda.

These incidents points us towards the fact that the word "Krishna" was not an Aryan name but a non-Aryan name and originated from non-Aryan language. There are many words/names like this, which are available in Vedas.

Majority words of Vernacular languages of India thus found their way in Samaskrita may be with ornamentation and it has been shown that majority of Samaskrita words are of non-Aryan origin. Thus in other words it may be inferred that the majority words of vernaculars are in fact of non-Aryan origins.

As mentioned earlier, the language/pronunciations vary from place to place; as a result words also used to get distorted in terms of pronunciation and hence in spelling too, until standardization took place. That might be the reason for Krishna is known as Kanha and Kanai; hasta known as hattha and hath. Exactly, gradually according to the local influences as

Aryan to Airan to Iran; Airan to Airab to Arab; Airab to Airaq to Iraq;

Airab to Airap to Europ to Europe etc.

It is because of these heavily populated non-Aryan words in Samaskrita, it may not be unnatural to assume that it is the mother of all vernacular language, as it was the first standard recognized language of India.

6.2. Meaning of Samaskrita: Another hidden clue is the name of the language itself. Let us look at the word "Samaskrita". The word "Samas" implies to equality and "Krita" implies to done. That is the work was shared equally by Aryans (Outsiders) and Non-Aryans (natives), therefore justice was done by honoring both the groups by naming the language as "Samaskrita". Thus the work was probably initiated and patronized by Aryans of pre historical period where as Research and development work was probably carried out by non-Aryans, as these non-Aryans were already experienced and familiar with the some script. This is probably the main reason that most of the words of Samaskrita are found to be of Non-Aryan origin.

The other meaning of Samaskrita is refined, that is prior to Samaskrita some language in primitive form like ‘Brahmi' was in existence in India.  Native wise people of the period gradually modified and refined and ornamented it to the present form and it is not a natural language over a long period of time.

6.4. Writing style of Samaskrita: The style of writing is not in line with central Asian Aryan countries, but it is just opposite. Had it invented by the people of Aryan origin, it would be similar or close to their current style.

6.5. Samaskrita Grammar: Historians also observe that the grammar of Samaskrita language is almost perfect in comparison to any other Language of the world.

However, it is a fact that nothing is found to be perfect in this Universe if it is natural. Even creation is impossible out of pure ‘Satta', it has to be mixed with ‘Rajas' and ‘Tamas' to affect it as stated by Swami Harshananda of Sree Ramakrishna Matha (Mylapore, Chennai) in his book "Hindu Gods and Goddesses". Some flaws and exception always exist in any natural phenomenon or processes. In case of river it flows on its own way, but an artificial river or canal flows in a controlled way as desired by human.

It may be noted that as per Historians Samaskrita script was developed around 800 to 700 BC and the first Samaskrita grammar was written by Nirukta around 700 BC and the final grammar on Samaskrita language was written by Panini around the end of 4th century BC or early 3rd century BC.

 

7. Observation on Samaskrita language:

The analysis as described at point no 6 indicates that, in all probability the language Samaskrita was developed by some wise men of ancient time. The formula and processes were kept as secret like the formula of an atom bomb. Similar opinion is found in our Puranic stories also (All ancient literatures to be written by Brahmins only, to be recited by Brahmins only, other people should not even touch those holly books to avoid a great sin as per Dharma).

This clearly proves that the language Samaskrita is not an original language, but a laboratory developed artificial language, and could never become a language of masses.

 

8. Civilization at Eastern part of India- a brief:

It has been proved by modern researchers and Historians that a good civilization was in existence in eastern part of India and in Bengal. Archeologists discovered the sites of copper age civilization in various parts of Bengal and Eastern parts of India. (Pandurajar Dhibi, Mahabalistan, Darjeeling etc.) A good civilization could not be in existence unless there was a good language for communication. However, that language was probably not termed as a Bengali language and it might be varying in pronunciation and accordingly in spelling from place to place in Bengal. This we may refer as a non-standard Bengali Language, Which was commonly termed as Pali or Prakrita or Apavramsha language of Bengal. As already stated earlier, the name "Prakrita" means natural or the language of the common people. On the other hand, "Samaskrita" means refined i.e. Samaskrita language was not a natural language but a refined version of natural language or artificial language. This also indicates that the Samaskrita words and language was found and developed from these Prakrita words and language by refinement and ornamentation.

 

9. Standardization of Vernacular languages:

Modern Historians opines that there was no influence of outside towards the development of Bengali Literature up to 12 century AD. The literature up to 12 century AD was fully dominated by Bauddha and Natha-literatures.

The outside influence on Bengali language was started only from 12th century AD during the time of invasion of rulers from the land of Rig-Veda of Islamic faith.

The standardization of Bengali Language actually started from Islamic rules of Bengal when the entire Bengal consisting of Gauda, Karna-Subarna and Pundra Vardhana etc., were united and was brought under the control of Aryan rulers of Islamic faith..

This process of standardization was completed during the period of British rulers of Christian faith. This standard language is termed as the language of Bengal and now is in use in our literature. However the spoken language can be seen varying from place to place. Also it is interesting to note that the Maithili language (language of Dwar Banga) is closer to the standard Bengali language than that of Chattagram and Shillet.

 

10. Conclusion:

Since Samaskrita was an artificial language, it could never become a language of common people as a natural language and remains under the control of few intellectual wise men. These intellectual and wise people were using this language as a secret weapon and exploited to their own advantages. Exactly the same way the rich and powerful countries of today having nuclear weapon are exploiting other non-nuclear countries for their own advantages and benefits.

Thus looking back at the various Historical/Linguistic points as described, it probably may not be illogical to infer that Samaskrita language was not the language of Aryans. It is a language developed scientifically by Non-Aryan's wise intellectual men, probably under the patronization of some good Aryan rulers.

Hence it may not be fair to say that Bengali and other vernacular Languages have been originated from Samaskrita Language.

________________________ END ______________________________

 

About the Author

Name : Dr. K.K.Debnath

Academic Credentials: B.Sc(Hons), M.Sc(Hons), Gold Medalist (University of Roorkee and now IIT Roorkee), Ph.D. (University of Roorkee).

Passion: Religion, Social Science, Ancient Civilization and History.

american made flags made in china

Red China's Blue Pencil -- Hardened By the Hammer and Sharpened On the Sickle

(Ed note:  The author was a script-writer for Bob Hope between 1977 and 1992.)

In 1974, soon after Richard Nixon opened relations with the People's Republic of China, Hope began a behind-the-scenes campaign to become the first American entertainer to tape a television special there. He spent the next five years cajoling the State Department and the Department of Defense — at the start of every new season, I'd say, "We doing
China this year?" and he'd say, "Any day now. Stay packed."

Leaning on a raft of influential government pals including Henry Kissinger and calling in markers he'd been collecting from the government since World War II, he finally received permission to take our show there as part of a cultural exchange program dubbed "Ping-Pong Diplomacy" by the press.

On June 16, 1979, after a four-hour flight from Narita, Japan, a Chinese Airlines 707 filled with our merry band of mirth makers eager to get their first look at this hotbed of Communism, touched down at the Peking Airport. The group included Bob and Dolores Hope, their daughter, Linda, her co-producer Jim Lipton — with whom Gig Henry and I would share writing credit — Jim's wife, Kedakai, director Bob Wynn and a support crew made up of pretty much the same gang who had earned their Hope Squadron wings on our trek to Australia the previous year.

Our guest stars would arrive over the next several days — Mikhail Baryshnikov, Crystal Gayle, Big Bird from Sesame Street (Carroll Spinney), mimes Robert Shields and Lurene Yarnell and a popular disco-duo, Peaches and Herb.  Most of the company — staff, crew and talent, forty-five of us in all — were lodged in the Peking Hotel (whose marble-heavy architecture resembled a Hilton shipped in from Moscow). The Russians had supervised its design and construction, and it showed.

Our rooms were basic, comfortable — a color TV was included, but for some strange reason, received only programs in Chinese — and they were never locked. The sliding doors to the balconies were double-pane glass to keep guests insulated from the street noise below.

On each floor near the elevator, a concierge stood guard with the vigilance of a rock concert rent-a-cop. Strangely, we came to feel no hesitation in leaving valuable belongings in a hotel room with the door open. Maybe the penalty for petty theft in China — death — had something to do with this.

Gig and I were assigned a young, affable Chinese college student, who spoke excellent English and was spending his summer with the government, to act as our guide and interpreter and to make sure we didn't wander onto any military installations. When behind the Bamboo Curtain, one feels much safer with a plainclothes agent within earshot. Or
any kind of shot.

Each morning, there would be a large Thermos of hot tea outside the door, which was the closest we ever got to Room Service. All of our meals were served in a cavernous, high-walled dining hall with huge murals of the Yangtze's Three Gorges. It was about the size of UCLA's Pauley Pavilion and every bit as intimate. Mealtimes were posted, and if you
missed them, you were out of luck.

McDonald's and other fast food meccas had yet to invade the People's Republic, but going hungry was never a problem since the Chinese traditionally demonstrate their hospitality through copious gifts of calories. Important visitors rate eight-to-twelve course banquets — almost every evening. We ended up attending more banquets than a major league manager in the off-season.

At first, everything seemed in place for a smooth, uneventful shoot.  We would tape our special and be doing our part in strengthening the newly-discovered bonds between East and West.  Then the Minister of Culture showed up.

The Communist government of the Peoples Republic is divided into Ministries — a Ministry of Commerce, a Ministry of Health, a Ministry of Education and so on. From day one, the nemesis of The Bob Hope Show — and Hope personally — was the Ministry of Culture.  As a condition of being allowed to tape within their borders, the Culture Minister insisted on approving every word of our script beforehand.

As a practical matter, this was not only unrealistic, but virtually impossible since we made script changes right up until tape began rolling. Allowing them to check each segment after it had been shot wouldn't have been a problem, but for some reason known only to Confucius, the Culture Ministers wouldn't go along.

Their insistence on a policy of prior approval would be a major stumbling block during the entire shoot. Looking back on it, I think the Chinese had heard of Hope's legendary reputation for political jokes, feared their Revolution would be in his cross hairs, and decided to make sure they'd be protected from his comedic barbs. (Can't blame them there; they were correct on all counts.)

Our first run-in with the policy evolved as follows. Fellow writer Gig Henry and I had written a spot that was to be taped in front of the Democracy Wall, a poster forum in downtown Peking that had recently received a lot of ink in the world press. Now that they had undergone a Cultural Revolution, so the theory went, any Chinese citizen was free not only to criticize the government, but to post his thoughts for all to read.

Our version of this newly-found right of free speech found Hope strolling along the Wall and coming upon a man pasting a poster on it.

HOPE: (to man) Sir, would you mind translating that for me?

MAN: Not at all. I'm complaining about all the crime in the streets, traffic congestion, loud music at night and air pollution.

HOPE: Gee, I had no idea Peking had all those problems.

MAN: Oh, I'm not from Peking. I'm from from Passaic, New Jersey.

A permit to film at the wall had been requested and granted. The problem was, the actual script was completed just minutes before it was to be shot. There simply was no time to obtain an additional signature on our permit covering the changes.  News of the sketch we shot reached Culture faster than the invasion of Nang King. You'd have thought the guy was from Tibet. The officials demanded the tape right out of the camera. Our director Bob Wynn explained that it couldn't be removed without destroying other material on the same reel.

After several head-to-head meetings, Hope was issued an ultimatum: unless the Democracy Wall tape was turned over to them by day's end, no tape of our special would be allowed to leave the country.

While Hope, producer Jim Lipton and director Bob Wynn continued the delicate negotiations, we managed to smuggle out the offending segment hidden among legitimate news footage being sent back to Los Angeles with Jess Marlow, a local anchor who was covering our trip for KNBC.

The Ministry finally backed down only after receiving a signed affidavit from Hope that the segment wouldn't be included in our special. It wasn't, but from that point on during our visit, even the food served at our honorary banquets seemed markedly cooler.  The Democracy Wall controversy was just round one of what would turn out to be an ongoing game of cat-and-mouse with the Culture Ministers. We would soon learn just how serious they were about enforcing their version of the rules.

Each morning, Gig and I met with Hope to discuss ideas for the show. Gradually, we noticed that Culture was saying "no" faster than the Parole Board on Devil's Island. It was almost as if they knew what we wanted before we submitted a formal request. As it turned out, they did.

One day, as we arrived for our usual strategy session, Hope motioned for us to join him on his 23rd floor balcony. As we slid the door closed behind us, he pointed toward the drain at one end of the deck and invited us to join him at the other.  He whispered that he had learned from someone at the American Embassy that his suite might be bugged, confirming our own suspicions that the rooms were sorely in need of a visit from the Orkin man.

Moreover, we had a feeling that the Red flag limousine assigned to Hope by the government also sported some after-market wiring. Moving from location to location on shooting days, Don Marando would have to juggle Hope's heavy aluminum makeup case on his lap because, according to the driver, the trunk was off-limits to passengers.

We couldn't blame him. It's not easy to explain why a spare tire needs an antenna.  Needless to say, from then on, we made sure that the only microphone Hope spoke into was connected to our camera. Even though we were with NBC and not the CIA, it didn't seem to matter.

We taped the stage-show segments of our China special on the Fourth of July at Peking's Capital Theater (one of the few things that Chairman Mao had allowed to contain the word capital) before an audience of PRC officials, foreign dignitaries, U.S. Ambassador Leonard
Woodcock, his family, staff and American Embassy employees.

The language breakdown was about half Chinese, half English-speaking.  Waiting backstage with Hope as the audience filed to their seats, we peered through a gap in the curtain as a dozen high-ranking Communist Party leaders were being seated in the front row. They wore gray, baggy suits with the impeccable tailoring of pajamas from Wal-Mart. They looked to be in the neighborhood of 80 — and it must have been a rough neighborhood. Their lined faces reflected years of proletariat struggle, party in-fighting, industrial revolution and chain smoking.

Watching this grim potpourri of Maoists, Hope frowned. "Look at them. Not a smile and they don't even speak English. How am I supposed to get laughs?"  "Don't worry, Bob," Gig offered soothingly. "How many peasants could they have purged? A couple of million. Three on the outside."  Hope said, "You're right. What am I worried about? I survived vaudeville."

At rehearsal that afternoon, we had to settle on the most efficient method of translating the material into Mandarin. First, we tried projecting the Chinese characters on a large screen beside the stage, but the Chinese, well-known as fast readers, would laugh before Hope could finish each joke. We decided he'd need an interpreter on stage beside him.

We called for a volunteer and we got a good one — Ying Ruo Cheng, one of China's leading actors, who a decade later, would play the disgraced Mayor of Peking in "The Last Emperor."  Cheng's sense of comic timing proved an equal of Hope's and he got as many laughs from the Chinese as Hope was getting from the Westerners. I had seldom seen
Hope more delighted — two laughs for the price of one.

Of course, the entire monologue had to be pre-approved by Culture, but we somehow slipped by them an opening line that was hardly designed to divert the minds of our hosts from the Cold War:

*   I can't believe I'm really here, but this must be China. Last night, I went to a movie called "The America Syndrome."

Starring Jack Lemmon and Jane Fonda, "The China Syndrome" was playing to big box office in the states and concerned a threatened nuclear meltdown, a somewhat touchy subject in the PRC. But we were there to get laughs, and remember, this was before the age of political correctness.  Hope continued...

*   I've been seeing all the sights. Yesterday, I stopped by the Academy of Science and they offered me a job as an exhibit.

*   Then I visited the Hall of Longevity. I promised my insurance man I would.

*   And I loved the Great Wall of China. Of course, I love anything as old as I am.

Though Hope was now seventy-seven, until recently lines like these would never have made it into the monologue. But he was beginning to take a certain pride in having arrived in Senior-Citizenland. And especially in China, where age is revered, jokes like these fell on appreciative ears.

*   Then we visited the Forbidden City. What opulence! It looks like Caesar's Palace without the slot machines.

At this juncture, interpreter Cheng turned to Hope and asked, "What's a Caesar's Palace?"

The Chinese may have been in the dark, but as you would expect, the line got a huge laugh from the Westerners. Hope said, "It's a little place that takes the money the IRS didn't get." That's a pretty quick ad-lib, but they ain't seen nothin' yet.  A few lines later, Hope delivered this line:

*   Yesterday, I visited your Marble Boat at the Summer Palace.  A boat made entirely of marble. At first they said it wouldn't float — and then Billy Graham showed up.

Again, Cheng interrupted his translation and asked, "Who is Billy Graham?"  And in one of the quickest ad-libs I had ever heard, Hope replied "Billy Graham is an advisor at Caesar's Palace." The line proved yet again what a consummate ad-libber Hope was.

During rehearsal, we got word that the Ministry of Culture had cut this joke from the monologue:

*   They serve a drink over here called "mao tai."  One sip and your head feels like it's going through a Cultural Revolution. Two sips and it feels like a Gang-of-Four.

We gladly complied and excised the offending material. After all, we were batting five hundred. We lost this joke, but we managed to slip "America Syndrome" by them — most likely because they didn't have a clue as to its meaning.

 

Excerpted from THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Behind-the-Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers (c) 2009 by Robert L. Mills and published by Bear Manor media.

To order:  http://bobhopeslaughmakers.weebly.com Kindle e-book $2.99: www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D9EPO

View photos from the book:  http://bobhopeshowbackstage.weebly.com

About the Author

A native of San Francisco, Bob Mills served in the Navy after high school, graduating from San Francisco State University in 1962 and the University of California Hastings Law in 1965.  He practiced in Palo Alto, CA for ten years before moving to Hollywood to write for television.  He worked on the Dinah Shore Show, the Steve Allen Show and the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts before joining Bob Hope as a staff writer  in 1977. He traveled the world with Hope for the next seventeen years. In 2009, his book The Laugh Makers: A Behind-the-Scenes Tribute to Bob Hope's Incredible Gag Writers was published by Bear Manor Media and was named one of Leonard Maltin's "Top 20 Year-End Picks."  To order:  http://bobhopeslaughmakers.weebly.com

Kindle e-book $2.99: www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D9EPO