I Love America

The last time it was at last call
It turned into a free for all
My wife said she would have one more
While we were dancing on the floor

I tried to get myself in line
Her wanting one more glass of wine
Just leaving her was a mistake
But its a chance I always take

Suddenly a fight broke out
My wife is there I have no doubt
I hear a sound like clothes are ripping
My wife had better not be stripping

She says she has a better right
When her clothes aren't on too tight
So I fight my way right through the crowd
Where screams are coming very loud

Someone had grabbed her by the skirt
And gave a wink and tried to flirt
Then her dress went in the air
And she don't wear no underwear

So she grabbed the closest thing she could
And what she grabbed it wasn't good
The girl that had the biggest pair
Was loosing stuffing everywhere